SEASON PREVIEWS: DETROIT TIGERS

With Spring Training games starting this week, it’s time for one of the the one preferred things in all the world: Season Previews. Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and finished up as half-assed haiku. We’re only gonna go with what we know. Continuing on with the preview of the American League Central, here have been the Detroit Tigers.

Go Tigers, meow!
Will Jim Leyland give up smoking?
Poor Marlboro

Miguel Cabrera
Is not an alcoholic
He’s only a meant drunk

Justin Verlander
Motor City Kitty ace
Can’t wait for for Scherzer

Jackson in center
They picked up Johnny Damon
For $8 million bucks

Joel Zumaya
The Guitar Hero-rocking
Klutzy reliever

Everett at short
Brandon is the Angry Inge
When he can’t strike bombs

We unequivocally have been sad
Leyland can’t fume inside the
Clubhouse this season.

[Detroit 4 Lyfe] | [The Detroit Tiger Weblog] | [Motor City Bengals]