Season Previews: Detroit Tigers

With Spring Training games starting this week, it’s time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We’re just gonna go with what we know. Continuing on with our preview of the American League Central, here are the Detroit Tigers.

Go Tigers, meow!
Will Jim Leyland quit smoking?
Poor Marlboro

Miguel Cabrera
Is not an alcoholic
He’s just a mean drunk

Justin Verlander
Motor City Kitty ace
Can’t wait for Scherzer

Jackson in center
They picked up Johnny Damon
For $8 million bucks

Joel Zumaya
The Guitar Hero-rocking
Klutzy reliever

Everett at short
Brandon is the Angry Inge
When he can’t hit bombs

We really are sad
Leyland can’t smoke inside the
Clubhouse this season.

[Detroit 4 Lyfe] | [The Detroit Tiger Weblog] | [Motor City Bengals]